[kitana57]

Thank you Kathy, so very much for always taking the time and effort to assist and guide me. You are 100% correct without fail I feel personally there is underlying stuff that has more to deal with him than I that kind of causes this knee jerk reaction every time. Sometimes I think he is aware of it and other times I don’t think he is consciously aware of it. What I do know despite my overwhelming sense to always want to help and fix things the lesson here is for me to learn to not interfere with ones life path (or let them live their life’s journey interference free) and to step back a bit and let them hash this out for themselves no matter how well my intentions (to each his own truly lol). This concept for me is excruciatingly painful and hard to learn because I like being helpful and the fixer so to speak although now I am learning this can cause more harm than good. He has a specific lesson to learn as do I and the cycle will repeat itself until one or both of us learns what we were supposed to from this situation. Thinking on the positive side of things I think he will figure it out eventually with time (ok a whole lot of time lol) and as for myself I am partially there, but not quite. He is still a good person despite this pattern of behavior so I know he has the ability within him to break this vicious cycle, but only time will tell right. So I must now relinquish my Superwoman title and retire my cape for awhile and go off in pursuit of a stronger and more enlightened me:) Hoping that he still has the knowledge that he still has a friend in me if he wants or needs one, but yes I must start putting myself first and to learn to go with the proverbial flow.

[kitana57]

Hi again Kathy,
I did finally hear from him again and things were going quite well for awhile as far as communication wise anyways, but after a disagreement communication seems to be lost again. I am hoping that maybe with a little time and space things will heal over and that all will be repaired. Thank you for all of your insight and guidance:)

[kitana57]

Hi Kathy,
Thank you very much you are right. I got a lot of thinking to do lol.

[kitana57]

Hi Kathy,
Thank you so much for your quick response, to answer your question to randomly run into him is impossible since we do not live in the same location literally lol, and as for a relationship I wasn’t looking for one either right now, but I was trying to be a good friend because honestly that is all I can offer anyways. Maybe our definition of friends has a crossed wire or two. I am guessing by his silence such friendship has no value or merit because he would of said so if it did. I do hope for the best, but honestly there is nothing more I can do on my end it’s up to him now. Thanks again for always being so kind and helpful I truly do appreciate your insight/guidance.

[kitana57]

Hi again Kathy,
Since it has been quite some time I was just wondering does this person still wish to be my friend? Or will I ever hear from them again?

Thank you in advance for any guidance on the subject that you may have.

[kitana57]

Hi Kathy,
Thank you so much, I do know what exactly is bothering him partially, but the other part I didn’t know and I am very thankful that you gave me a proverbial heads up:) Wow! because without your help I probably wouldn’t of gotten it from him otherwise. I kind of sensed it a bit, but honestly I wished he would of just communicated that lol. I am currently taking your original advice and just leaving him be.
I deeply and sincerely thank you for taking the time to give me a bit of guidance ,which I would not of had any idea of well until now:)

[kitana57]

Hi again,
I was just curious about something and what I was wondering is, is he just not wanting to talk in general or is it that he just doesn’t want to talk to me?

Much appreciation and thanks:)

[kitana57]

Hi Kathy,

Thank you very much for your help and guidance I really do appreciate it. I am just glad and relieved that he is ok and yes, I will adhere to your advice (although I admit patience is not my strong suit).

[kitana57]

Hi Spiritual Vortex,
Yeah, what you said is true, but I never blamed anyone for my mistakes lol I do take responsibility for that fully. As for asking for help I really have a hard time with that one because I don’t know honestly who could help me out from time to time when I really need it because the truth is I am a better giver than I am a receiver of help (that is why I come here sometimes because I get assistance without the judgement). Besides I am surrounded by to many negative influences around me so I have to keep my trust guard up for now. I think alot of my situation and circumstance comes out of fear both of success and failure it is a bad pattern that I do recognize in myself, but lately I am just feeling like this is a life long struggle. I go through these negative cycles not very much now of days, but when they do hit my productivity is down and I do use the computer as a temporary distraction (not the best idea, but it helps keep the stress down). I know excuses, excuses, but I do give it the old college try every now and again. It’s not harsh the truth is the truth there is just no getting around it lol. I do thank you very much for taking the time to respond I know your answer is spot on it is just going to take me some time to process that’s all.

Thanks again:)

[kitana57]

Hi Kathy,

Do you think I can make it to last a year here? I am trying my best, but things are really tough though. What are my odds if I can hang in there till then (basically meaning hopefully things will get better)?

Thanks for your guidance in advance:)

[kitana57]

Hi there,
Well things were going pretty much ok with the job for a little while up until recently when I am starting to notice familiar trends , which is some of the same problems I was dealing with in earlier responses, which are reoccurring again in the present. I like having a job (despite it all I still like this one), but it is starting to slowly wear me down little by little and I am at odds to what shall I do next. I was just wondering should I stay put or shall I seek work elsewhere because I am a very dedicated worker and sometimes I just feel like it is really not appreciated or folks think I am really dumb because I am doing this (hopefully temporary) for a living. Will this job lead me to something better or will it just be another dead end? I am a hard worker and I am not afraid to start at the bottom in an organization/company, but I just want to know is all this going to be worth it at the end of the day? I am always grateful for any advice or insight on the subject (because right now I am very conflicted and confused).

Thank you 🙂

[kitana57]

Just wondering will I get to stay on this job awhile? I am still trying very hard to do my best, but some how at the end of the day it just feels not enough. I love working, but sometimes I just wish I wouldn’t always meet with such resistance at every turn. I am hoping to be here awhile, but I don’t know at this point. Thanks in advance for your continued guidance and support:)

[kitana57]

Thanks again you are right:) It is just taking me awhile to adjust I guess. I appreciate your time and effort:)

[kitana57]

Please don’t think I am ungrateful for being given an opportunity when so many are still struggling out there, but the cruelty that I face on a daily now is just becoming to unbearable because it’s like I am constantly a target for some unknown reason. I work so hard to take so much and I am starting to get worn down both physically and mentally. My biggest fear is that I will find another job and the same thing will happen there too until I figure out what it is I am to learn from this experience (history will repeat itself). I just want to do my job and be at peace and right now that is virtually impossible. This one individual really wants me gone and possibly unemployable to other potential employers. This person couldn’t possibly see me as a threat though because they are always making me feel like I am sooo stupid lol. I don’t know why they have it out for me, but it has been this way since I started there. I still hope and pray I can stick this out for awhile longer because I really like the job.

Thank you so much for the great advice:) I do appreciate everything you have helped me with:) I am just hoping for better days soon because lately I have been feeling rather low.

[kitana57]

What you are saying is true, but sometimes it just hurts alot especially when you are trying to do your best. I am disappointed that some folks would act this way, but I am kind of used to it by now. I am really grateful for your insight and encouragement:) I am just hoping things will get better soon so that I can actually get to enjoy what I do again.
Thank you

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