[christopherj]

Thank you for the reply, it’s nice that she and her can joke the falling asleep thing now haha, but I definitely don’t plan to do that again.

[christopherj]

Hi,
Thank you for replying to my last post. Since then, I finished rehearsals with the caroling company and waiting to get the schedule of events so I can start signing up for gigs and start working and earning money, I’m really looking forward to it, I can’t wait!! I only wish that the caroling company job lasted longer then just november through december. Besides that, I started getting to know this I met through the online dating site, ok cupid. Well, the funny thing is she had sent me a msg towards the end of september, but I was not aware of it till the start of october, I had turned of the notifications since I was never getting much out of it, so I never knew I got a message till later. But, I felt the need to check, I don’t really know why, I like to think that everything happens for a reason and the lord works in mysterious ways. I am glad I did check, cause after that, we started to msg each other, exchange numbers, start texting and we’ve been hanging out for a little while now, it’s been great. The main thing is I’ve been really trying to take it slow and not rush into anything, especially since this is my first time in the dating world. I have been feeling though like I’ve her, Julie (7/8/1985) for a lot longer than just a couple weeks, and she felt the same way too. I’ve just like their was something special about her, not be cheesy or cliche or anything, it’s the truth. On our first date, she came by to pick me up, but I accidentally fell asleep cause I was just tired from the whole day, I woke up an hr later than I should’ve and saw she sent me tons of text msgs and four voicemails, wondering what was going on, thinking I stood her up. I felt terrible and called right then, she was still waiting for me. I was surprised that someone who I had still barely met, would wait a whole hr for me when she could’ve easily driven off. But, I was so grateful, thankful that she would wait for me and give me the chance to make for such a terrible start. We had a great time that night, then we saw each other the next day and had another great day. We text just about every day, which is another first, since I usually don’t text someone that much, that consistently. I actually started a thing where I’d text her good morning each day and good night, which has seemed like a cool little thing. Anyways, we hang out probably at least once a week, maybe more, when we can, she seems to like me and have fun, I really enjoy hanging and talking with her, I was shy at first but I’ve been opening up. I obviously want things to work out between and for us to even become a serious couple, but I don’t want to to jump the gun and push her away. She did tell me she’s been seeing other guys along with me, which is weird to know that, since I’ve been in a situation like this before, especially for my first time dating. I would want her to choose me over those those other guys and I’ve been trying my best to be someone she’d want to be with, even in all my inexperience. All I can do is my best and hope and pray it’s enough for her. Slow steady, trying to go slow and steady. I do feel something for her, for sure. Any insight you might have would be greatly appreciated, thank you! 🙂

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
How are you doing? I just wanted to let you know what had been going on with me. I started working for a caroling company called charles dickens carolers for a couple weeks now, as in an independent contractor, only from november 11th till the end of december 31st, but I’m really hoping to be able to make as much money as I can with those two months, and hopefully make connections with could lead to great networking opportunities for me. It’s really my first real big thing music wise that could really help me financially. Besides that, I’ve been going to my church job, trying to look for more work, looking for auditions for paid music work, other non-music related work, haven’t found anything else yet. I had a friend, who works at a record company, give me some career counseling, she mentioned some ideas like going back to school for my masters, applying at temp agencies, of which she sent my resume in to a temp agency that she knows to try and get my hired. All in all, some of it I had heard before, it was somewhat helpful, but at the same time, I just felt like I had so many more suggestions in my head that I didn’t know what to do, how to sort through it all. At the end of the day, no matter what ideas or suggestions I might get from other people, it would ultimately be up to me to decide what I’d like to do for myself. I’ve had friends suggest that they would like me to move to various places, back to fullerton, move out to seattle, or san francisco, all of which sound like great choices, but then I would have to decide if it would be worth, if I’d be happy out there, if I be able to find enough good music opportunities out there for me.

Lately, I’ve been thinking of wanting to move out the Minneapolis, mainly because of a professional male vocal ensemble that are one of the best, and pay well. Also, I’ve been reading about the area out there, and it’s really nice, great opportunities for me, it would definitely give me the change I’ve wanted, to move out into a new area, live on my own, start a new chapter in my life. I don’t know when it would happen, or if it would happen, but it’s been on my mind for a while. I have also been thinking about wanting to help my mom out since we are struggling financially and she is really trying to find ways to make more money, it’s been slow going though. I wrote into the ellen show twice since I know that she always helps people in need, but I haven’t heard anything. I was just hoping that it’d be a great way to help my mom and I if ellen were to respond to my msg. Thank god my sister has been giving what she can to help my mom, I just wish there was something I could do to support her with everything she’s done and does for me. This caroling job could be a start towards reaching my big break and really start making my career come true, I just hope and pray everything will work out for all of us.

I’ve been going to the panda express in the south pasadena area after my voice lesson for a while now, and I’ve gotten various fortune cookies, some of which said, “this is a properous time of life for you,” “the world will soon be ready to receive your talents,” “next summer you will dance to a different beat,” “you will take over a large sum of money,” ” you have a captivating style all your own.” Now, I don’t know if these could really mean something or not, they could all just be nice sayings, but a part of me would like to think that some of these could be true, maybe. I’ve been thinking a lot, wondering when things would start moving in the right direction, I think the caroling job is a step in a right direction, a slow start, but a step. I have auditions coming up at the end and start of next year, one for the la opera chorus, the other for la master chorale, both big time professional jobs, if I were to land one of them or both, it would be amazing. If I don’t, then I would decide what to do but probably march or so of next year. I just know that I am ready for things to pick up for all of us, I feel like it’s been a long time coming. Any insight you might be able to provide would be very helpful, thank you so much for all your help and support, I always appreciate it.
-Christopher

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
How are you doing? I have decided to focus on the most important things right now, securing a full-time job so I can start making money, getting my music career going. Once I start having a steady income, then I can look at getting my own place and become that independent, self-sufficient, responsible man that I want to be. I think after I have all of that, I will be in a better position to looking at finding a girl to start a relationship with.

Besides that, I was wondering if you had any thoughts or insights into what you think of me as a person. I know that futures aren’t set in stone, but I do find myself thinking where I will go from here, thinking about being the best person I can be. Thank you for all your continued help, I really appreciate it.

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
With regards to the angela thing, we haven’t talked for a while now, so i don’t know really what is going on. I know that she has a lot that she’s dealing emotionally, looking for work, trying to get herself together, she’s kind of fallen off the grid, so i don’t know when we will be talking again. I just hope that I didn’t do or say anything to make it seem that was coming on too strong, since i am attracted to her but wanted to keep things on a friendship level. I’ve lost many friends because of the fact that I was too forward, expressed my feelings and made things awkward for them that they didn’t want to be friends with me anymore. Anyways, only time will tell I guess, hope everything turns out alright. I get the feeling though that I am only one that’s interested in wanting a relationship, at least that’s what my track record has been, it’s always been very one sided with me showing interest and the other person wanting only friendship, nothing else.

I wouldn’t be opposed to taking a job at a bank, I would settle for almost anything right now that could earn me some money. Speaking of, i’m still trying to get through this at home computer course, that i hope will land me a job, I just don’t know when since there is so much material to get through, it starts to feel a little overwhelming. But, I know that i’ve got through about almost a third of it so there is hope that i will and can make it, I just have to keep at it. It’s tiring though with so much info to get through, I wish there was a faster way. I know I don’t want to quit since I told myself I would do this, also, my best friend want me to move out to Vegas after I get this certification to work in an IT job, if I quit, he would never let me hear the end of it.

Besides that, I’ve been feeling stuck figuring out what I want to do my life, what i want to do with my music. I feel that my music has been on the back burner since i’ve been trying to focus on finding a job and not really doing a lot for my music career, which is supposed to be my passion. My mom told me to put more time on doing something with my music which I started to do more today, but I don’t know where it’s going, if anywhere. I really hope this work out, I bought a program to help with my piano playing, which I hope will transfer into all aspects of my musicianship, songwriting, playing/performing, arranging, turn me into a better musician. I’m at that point where i really want something to happen, get my life heading a direction, a new direction, but I don’t know how to get there, when will i get there, or if I will get there? I guess I though I knew what I wanted (to be a performer, have my own group, be a recording artist, music producer), but I don’t know right now. It’s just frustrating, I’m trying to do all things, but nothing really seems like it’s going anywhere, or not moving fast enough. I do still have my church job, still involved in the opera company at home, the cal phil choir thing, and I started back with my voice lessons, all are good things, I just wish I knew what was coming after all this, how all this would be helping my future.

On top of this, I talked to my dad yesterday for the first time in four years, since he moved away after my parents got divorced, though they’ve been divorced for a long time now. It was the toughest phone conversation I’ve ever had, I was ready to cry my eyes out as soon as I heard his voice. I was happy to hear his voice since, I’ve thought about him a lot, wondering how he was doing, hoping he was okay. He seemed to be doing fine, had his own place, trying to look for work. I told him how i was doing, wished him a happy father’s day and, he said he would start sending me some money to help me out since he knew that I was struggling trying to find more work. Anyways, these last couple days have been pretty rough, I could really use some insight into where things may be going from here. I could really use another vacation, maybe some soul searching, a time to turn a new chapter in my life, some winds of change would be good right now.

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
Just wanted to let you know what i’ve been up to. Started really getting into songwriting, I don’t know if it’s because of the mindset that I’ve been in or what, but I’ve got six songs that i’m working on the lyrics for so I’m happy about that. Lately, not much had been going on with me in terms of my music career, so i’m happy I’m finally getting something going. Also, one of my friends i’ve known since high school, we started talking on facebook and she shared with me how passionate and interested she was about me, just about as much as me, which got me excited since I’ve wanted to find someone like that for a long time. I hoping that I will be able to collaborate with her and work with her, maybe even form a group with her, which would be a dream come true. She is a fantastic songwriter, plays guitar, and from what she said, a fantastic voice which I can’t wait to hear. The only thing is that she is trying to break out of her shyness and gain more confidence in performing in front of people, which i can relate to since i was where she is right now. Needless to say, she is honestly the type of person I’ve been looking, as an artist and as a person, I would be lying if I said I was really attracted to her. Her name is Angela(2/27/87) and I think that the smart thing to do would just to continue to talk to her and just see where this goes. The last thing I want to do is ruin the great friendship that we have right now. I do wonder though if she feels anything for me, I think she does, but I just don’t know. I would obviously be overjoyed if we could potentially go out sometime, she said she’d like to come out to hang sometime and work on music. But, anyways, I was wondering if you could share any insight into this, if there is any hope for me potentially having a relationship with her. Thank you for your continued help.

[christopherj]

Thank you for replying Kathy, thought about what you said. The name Wilson does not ring a bell, unless it’s a name i’ve yet to come across. Also, I know of one store in the area that sells sheet music and instruments, checked to see if they were hiring or not, we will see what happens. Also, there is one store that I know of that sells records, cds, just emailed them to see if they were hiring. The school idea, i’m sure that the credits i got from fullerton could help, just in terms of the music classes i took, my experience and knowledge in music, but they were more so looking for someone that is passionate and loves music, wants to really be involved in it, which I definitely have. I do wish that I could go there right now and just start learning. Maybe, it’s because just so ready to move on with my life, get out from where i’m at.

I love my family and my home, but I have just been feeling, maybe being a guy and being 26, that I really am long overdue for having my own place and being just to really live my own life, I start to get antsy sometimes. One my friends back at fullerton had asked me to move in with him, it sounded great and i was so ready to jump at the chance of moving out, but after thinking about it, i realized it wouldn’t have worked. My friend said he would be able to get my a job at the supermarket he works at, not for sure, but if I were to get it, i’d have to try and use all that money to try and pay rent, since any money i make from church job goes to paying loans, so i would be left with no income at all. Then if i were to move out to fullerton, i’d have to figure out how to get to whittier for my church job, figure out transportation since i don’t have a car, overall just too much hassle, would not work out.

Thought about the teaching thing, hesitant about since i’ve never done it before, have never done any teaching personally, I know some friends who have done it, are currently doing it, aren’t necessarily music ed majors, I have just never thought of myself as a teacher, always saw myself as a performer or someone in the recording field, like a producer. I have considered it though, but I guess it’s just never felt like me, so i’ve never tried to pursue it. The music production/producer really struck a code with me and is definitely something that I want to do. I just think that it fits me so well. From reading what the 6 month program offered, it felt like it was something that would cost way more then it did, for around 8 thousand, the networking and the knowledge, job opportunities i could gain, would be huge. But, at the same time, if I had the money, i would be a new computer, and set up my room like a studio and just learn from home, if i could, maybe save money.

The band idea would be cool, if something were to ever come up, i would definitely be down to be involved with that, the only real way to learn about the music business is to involve yourself in it, whether in a studio or on stage. I know that music will and has always been my primary interest and passion, other ideas have always been secondary, the reason for the IT job was so that I could use the money to help for the 6-month music production program at the recording school, but also just so i could have a steady job and start saving and earning money. At this point, i will take any job opportunity that comes my way, not wanting to be picky. I just want to do what i have to do and get to where i can support myself and become self-sufficient, independent and responsible, which I know my mom my sister want for me.

They both know how frustrated, depressed i’ve been, how much i’ve been searching for work, thinking of things to do, going to auditions, contests that don’t pan out, they want to see me finally succeed. I told them that i am getting so tired of telling my friends, when they ask what i have been up to, that i’m just doing the same old stuff, which is true, i haven’t done anything new a long time, while most of my friends, a lot of friends are always doing something new. I was honestly jealous, envious of that, happy for them, but just kind of depressed that i haven’t been able to find anything for myself. The IT and recording school, if it ever manages to go through, i thought it could finally be my new thing i could tell people when they ask what i’ve been up to, no more same old stuff. Thank for your continued help and support, oh, i entered in to try and being a new music competition on tv called “duets” on abc, will see if i get in or not, maybe this will be my time, who knows, i am kind of tired of the contests and auditions though, maybe just a little tired of the rejections, but hey, that’s the entertainment business, gotta take the good with the bad.

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
I just wanted to let you know that I’ve recently started studying at home in order to take a certification test to qualify me to work in the IT department. One of my friends told me about it a number of weeks ago, so i’ve been trying to put in the hours to learn the material. Not gonna lie, it has not been easy, since you are learn everything there is to know about computers, the information is a lot to take in. I have always had an interest in computers, technology, so I’m just hoping that my passion and interest in the field will help drive me to keep going. This was also the only thing that I’ve been able to think of doing that could finally land me a real job, i just don’t know when. But the other thing is that another one of my friends mentioned asked me if i was interested in being a sound engineer, and as soon as he said that, i remember when you had suggested a job in the recording company many times before. After he said that, I started going online and researching the field, watch youtube videos of various recording programs, checking out art school that have programs in sound design, sound production. I have decided that I want to learn to be a music producer, I just think that it would be the perfect field for me, someone who loves music, has a great ear for it, also loves technology, getting involved in using various programs, learn how to make music, but also learn how to work with people, deal with business aspects of music and gain the real world experience that i really need. There is a great school in los angeles that has a 6 month mentoring program with real producers and sound engineers, where you learn in real recording studios, one on one. I really want to go, but with the tuition and loans, I don’t know when that will be, maybe if i find a job soon, since I don’t want to have to take out a lot more loan money on top of what i have already. Anyways, just wanted to let you know where I was at, i hope that things will work out and will be to finally start a new chapter in my life that I have wanted to do for a long time.

[christopherj]

Hi kathy,

Lately, i’ve just been thinking, wondering about when my time will finally get here, the time for me to finally the become the person I’ve always wanted to be, whatever that may be. A lot of times, i see my friends who are out in the real world making a name for themselves, out there working, taking on opportunities that come by, gaining experience, earning money. Now, that’s not saying that i haven’t been doing something, I still have my church, working the chorus at my former voice teacher’s opera company, but, lately, i just get tired of always telling my friends the same thing over and over, how i’m just looking for more work, going to my church job, singing in the opera company, same old, same old, I don’t want things to always be same old, same old, i want things to be different. I guess I just keep wondering when things will start to change and improve, I feel I’m trying to change things, but it’s not enough, it can get frustrating. I do think sometimes about how i am in the slow lane of life, stuck and can’t seem to shift into the fast lane and catch up to other people who are farther ahead. I’ve tried things like getting on online dating sites, but they never seem to work for me, can get me kind of down sometimes. I’ve tried going to karaoke contests to help get my name and voice out to the world, still have managed to win but i’ve always try to keep the faith and hope alive. Idk, life is all about timing, things aren’t set in stone, I just keep wondering if my time will come sooner more then later. If you have any insight at all, about what the future or my life might have in store for me, I would really appreciate it, thank you.

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
I wanted to let you know that my college degree arrived in the mail yesterday, so I was very happy about that. But, besides that, lately I’ve continually been dealing with the frustration of just not knowing really where my life is supposed to heading. I know this has been an on going thing with me, but I’ve really been feeling stuck, like I’m not getting anywhere. I feel that I’ve been trying to figure things out, trying to see how I can get something, figure out what I want to do, but I haven’t been finding any answers. I also feel pressure from my mom who thinks I am not doing anything with my time, like I just waste a lot of time, which cause me to think like I have to hurry up and get something started, when I still don’t really know what that something is. I’ve tried to get help, do some network, trying and get together with people, but it just hasn’t been working. I can say that I love to sing, but I don’t think it’s enough in this working world. I would like to have my own group and perform, do shows, record albums, I would like to do a lot of stuff. Right now, I know I should probably have a plan, but I don’t, or I don’t know how to execute the plan that I have. Maybe this is how it feels to be in the real world. I do know that I want to become a self-sufficient, independent, mature man who can say he leads his own life, has a career, his own place, in a great relationship. I mean, I’m 26 and I feel like should’ve had things figured out years ago, but now I’m behind and need to catch up before everything or everyone passes me by. I don’t want to hit my next birthday and still be in the same place i’m in right now. I need to get things moving in the right direction. I know that timing can be involved, in terms of when the right time is for things to occur, but my thing is, can right time be soon cause I don’t want to wait anymore. Apologize for the rant, these past few weeks have been rough. Thank you for taking time to read this, I would appreciate any help you can provide, thank you.

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
I just wanted to let you know that two days ago, i found out that my situation with school, getting my degree that i had told you about, had worked itself out, the school was able to find a class in my records that met the requirements, so i am now officially done with school. I will be getting my degree in the mail around late February or early march!! I would like to think that this means that my life is slowly working itself out, starting to turn around and heading in the right direction. I just hope and pray that this the start of more good things to come.

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
I know that you have mentioned about life’s not being set in stone, but I would very much appreciate if you had any insight about this year, being still early in this new year. I can tell that last year was very much of a roller coaster for me, had some ups, but also had some downs. I told myself that this year would my year, better then last year, that’d be able to say 2012 was a great year, when i get into 2013. I don’t think I’ve ever had a great year overall, at least not one that I can ever remember. I want to be able to say that i’ve started meeting my goals of getting another job, good pay, maybe started a relationship, started figured what i want to do with my life. Also, I know i want to eventually get my own place, buy a car, being independent and self-sufficient, if I manage to accomplish any of this this year. Anyways, thanks again for all your help!!

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
I went to the disneyland audition, they were auditioning for a barbershop quartet, I audition for the bass part. They gave of sheet music to look at, taught us the part, we practiced it, then everyone went in to a room, and each went up individually to sing in front of the judging panel. I didn’t do as well as I wanted to, ended forgetting the words cause i decided to leave my sheet music behind so that I could free myself up to add more expression and movement to my performance, since this is for disneyland and they would want to see expressiveness. Anyways, I’m glad I went out and tried out just to gain experience, I was pretty disappointed in myself, knowing I could have done a lot better, but at the end of the day, I can say that maybe this wasn’t meant for me, there are, will be more opportunities, i just have to stay strong and keep pushing on. I do wonder though, even though it’s hard for everyone to find work, especially for someone wanting to be in music, if i’ve been assertive enough in finding work. One of my friends told me that he thought I needed to be more pro-active, I feel that I have but i just haven’t found anything yet. I know that timing is everything and I’d like to think that sooner or later, my time will come, of course i’d love it if it were sooner lol! Sometimes, it’s hard to have to wait when i feel sometimes that i get tired of waiting, then people sometimes say to make things happen instead of wait for them to happen. Though, i think that it’s easy to say that, much harder to do that. Not gonna lie that I’ve compared myself to my friends sometimes, thinking about what they have or where they are at in life, wondering why I can’t be there, but, i also know that everyone is different, not everyone has to move at the same pace. I’ve always just told myself to stay strong, keep the faith, stay positive and keep hope alive and trust the everything would work out. There is a time and a place for everything, maybe it’s better not to force things, but let it all takes its course. Thank you for your continued help, I really appreciate it.

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,
Happy New Year!! The reason for this post was to ask if you had any insight into this new year 2012. I know that lately, my mind has been doing a lot of wandering, more so I think, just because I’ve been wanting so much to be able to say that this made up for some of the downs that I went through last year. This year, I’ve dealt with finding out that i’m still officially graduated from college because of a class that I took didn’t ended up qualifing, so i’ve still got to take another class in the future. Also, I’ve just been thinking about what will happen to me, where I will end up, who will I become. I’ve been feeling worried and stressed, like I have to hurry and decide my life before everyone passes me by. I know that I always post on fb for everyone to stay strong, keep the faith and hope alive, keep moving forward, shift into turbo, but, I guess forget to tell myself that. I think I just feel that I should farther along then I am, but I don’t know how to get there. I am trying, making strides in my church job, searching for work, I have an audition to work at disneyland on tuesday. My mom says that I shouldn’t stress out, she knows that i’ve been trying, but she also reminds me that everything is about timing, and it all happens when it should be and try not to force things. I just have to remind me to take it easy and enjoy life, i’m only 26, i shouldn’t be getting gray hairs lol! Anyways, thank you for you help, I appreciate it.

[christopherj]

Hi Kathy,

So, let me tell you that this has been a pretty tough week for me. On sunday, I found out that my uncle had passed away in the morning from stage four lung cancer. Then, after that, I started to go into a mode of thinking about what had I been doing with my life, have I been doing enough, doing the right things? Was I where I wanted to be right now, or did I want to be further along like some of my friends? But of course, I have to remind myself that I have accomplished a lot, finally got a job with singing at church, had great singing experiences from performing with calphil and my former voice teacher’s opera company. Overall, i know that i need to continue to keep the faith and not be so hard on myself. Lately, I have felt that my life has been moving so slow and i’ve wanted things to move faster in my life, be at the point where i’m self-sufficient, responsible mature man who has moved out of his parent’s house, have a stable career, a girlfriend and able to support myself and give back to my family and friends. But, I know that life is all about timing and everything happens when at the right time. It just feels like it gets harder sometimes, especially when i get older and feel like I should be at a different place in my life. But, everyone is different and everyone moves at their own pace so i try to keep in mind that i’m where i need to be. Anyways, any insight you can provide would be very much appreciated, thank you.

[Author]

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