Lisa
You sound frustrated. You want to “be all that you can be” and you want to use this knowledge to help others. The fact that you believe in metaphysical opportunities is part of the battle. There are so many people that refuse to believe in any of these proven, documented ways to create the life you want and increase you perception and intuition. They are missing out on a “whole new world”.
For me I had to find the meditations and mental exercises that worked for me. I started off simple listening to guided meditations and I started visualizing with emotion. After a while my intuition was stronger and I “knew” what the right thing for me was when decisions had to be made.
It sounds like you are getting advice from all sides. Try to start slow like I did and take your time. You will feel less overwhelmed.
I would also suggest you call Dale. I know he gives short readings. I know he could give you some direction to manifest what you want. He has psychic guides on the site that are very good.
I will think about any books that I think might be helpful.
Try to take it easy. I know you will find the answers you are looking for.
Sincerely
Betty