[LSFerreira]

She truly is wanted and very much loved. We are so excited to having her here. Our entire, extended family is looking forward to her arrival. My only concern is my husband’s sister (his only sibling) she and I have never gotten along because of trouble she started during the time of our wedding. I need advice about her. She tells others that she wants a relationship with me but still bad mouths me in the same breath. Now with the baby on the way, I really want to keep my daughter out of it. My husband’s sister is terrible to her own children and I don’t want her to be that way with mine. I have given her many chances and still our relationship is cordial at best. We only see each other during family functions and barely speak to each other. I feel terrible that things have gotten to this point, but I do not want to have much to do with her if she continues to speak badly of me to other family. I am not the only one she bad mouths, hardly anyone in the family speaks to her because of the venom she spews. She had done some awful things and has caused much unneeded turmoil within the family and we have all had enough. What do you think I should do.

[LSFerreira]

Having a GIRL!!!!!!!! We are elated! I am 26 weeks along and things are going great. I feel her wiggle and kick and she responds to her daddy’s voice now 🙂 BEYOND THRILLED!

[LSFerreira]

P.S. Most of my family is under the impression that I’m having a boy 🙂

[LSFerreira]

Thanks Kathy.

Everything had been going well up until yesterday. I started having a strange pain in my lower abdomen which I’ve had off and on throughout yesterday and today, with no spotting thankfully. I saw a new doctor today because mine is on vacation. This new doctor was amazing. Where as my doctor wasn’t very informative, this new doctor was very attentive and willing to aggressively address my high risk issues. He explained what the cause of the pain could be but also scheduled me for a sonogram and cervical measurement tomorrow and will address the results on Friday. He said that he would be willing to place the cervical stitches on Friday if need be and will wait another couple of weeks if I don’t need them right away. I am confident that this is the doctor who will help me reach full term 🙂

[LSFerreira]

Thanks Kathy,

Well, it has been an interesting two weeks. I’ve been mildly spotting off and on, but the baby seems to be hanging in there. I’m very hopeful and optimistic about the little bean. All I can do is take care of myself and get plenty of bed rest, which is what I’ve been doing. I had a dream this morning about a dear friend who passed away last summer, in it, he told me that the baby would be fine and I believe him 🙂

Hope you are well.

[LSFerreira]

Hi embobeBreepsy, not sure why you posted that as a reply to my question…hmmmm… ❓

[LSFerreira]

Thanks for your well wishes and insight, Kathy. I think this baby will definitely be a great source of not only motivation, but inspiration as well. We are beyond thrilled 🙂

[LSFerreira]

Just found out, a couple of hours after first posting that I’m pregnant. Wow 🙂

[LSFerreira]

* or is there something else that I should be pursuing?

[LSFerreira]

Thank you so much, Candice. We have always said that we would adopt, regardless of whether or not we had biological children. However, not knowing why I’m having trouble conceiving is something that haunts me. I have been told by many doctors that I should have no trouble getting pregnant, but it’s not happening. I was wondering if you could see/know what the problem is. Four years ago, I was told that someone was really against the idea of me getting pregnant (my husband’s sister instantly came to mind), is that why I’m having difficulty conceiving or is it a medical condition that none of the doctors i’ve seen know about?

[LSFerreira]

Candice, thank you so much for your very accurate insight. What you said is something that we strongly suspected, but needed confirmed. Though excited about the prospect of the in-laws assistance, we knew there would be a catch, a big catch, so we are not at all surprised by the information you offered us. Everything you said is very, very accurate, especially about my sister-in-law.
I would love to have a real relationship with them, but it is very difficult when dealing with people who pride themselves in being set in their ways. I know they think that I’m not good enough for their son/brother, how can I prove myself worthy, or should I even bother? I know that they do not respect me, is there anything I can do to earn it? How can I stop them from being so critical and judgmental of my husband and I? My fear is that there will always be awkwardness between us all which they blame solely on me, I just don’t understand…
Also Candice, if you would be so kind as to help me once again, earlier, I posted a question on here about a possible pregnancy for us. We’ve gone through 7 years of infertility, one miscarriage, one preterm birth (which resulted in the loss of our daughter, Enigk) and another (almost) 2 years of infertility. Can you see what the cause of this infertility is, by any chance, I’ve seen many doctors, all of whom have given me different diagnosis. Spiritual Vortex was kind enough to offer me their insight, but I would also love your insight. Is there anything I can do to get pregnant again (besides the obvious, lol)? A psychologist who happens to be my sociology professor offered that I have to bond with a baby girl in my family, who would have been 2 months apart from my daughter, in order for me to conceive, is this really what I must do? I know that I will get pregnant, but I am growing very impatient/frustrated and would like to know how soon till I conceive, will my prescribed medication (clomid and/or metformin) help with the conception, and if the pregnancy will result in twins or triplets, thank you once again, you have helped me in ways that I shall be forever grateful 🙂

[LSFerreira]

Getting the house might still be an option, does anyone see anything regarding this situation?

[LSFerreira]

UPDATE: Someone else made an offer on the house and it was accepted. It’s kinda disappointing, especially since my husband was so excited about it (I had never seen him that excited about anything) but I guess ultimately, it just wasn’t meant to be.

[LSFerreira]

A couple last things if you don’t mind, Candice: is there a polite way to establish some type of (for lack of a better word) “ground rules” to avoid these potential problems (hurt feelings, etc), before we accept help with the house? I mean, can we stress that we are not keen on surprise visits beforehand and that we have our own ideas for the house and yard? Is there a way we can politely ask what are the expectations/strings attached that come along with the help they are offering? Also, I know that we will be indebted to my father-in-law for his help but, the idea of people feeling as if they own us and the house (because of this possible assistance) really concerns me, (again, I’m seeing my sister-in-law especially feeling this way)is there a way that we can all amicably, but clearly and firmly agree beforehand that that will not/is not the case? I wouldn’t want to offend anyone, but as I said, I would like to avoid problems/concerns that could arise down the road.

Finally, in what way will someone be getting in over their heads? Do you mean financially (do you see us being able to comfortably make the mortgage payments) or with renovations/remodeling (or something of that nature)? Again, thank you so much for your insight, we are seriously agonizing over this.

[LSFerreira]

Thank you Candice. I read one of your replies to someone and debated whether to ask you for your insight, but you beat me to it 🙂 Some of what you revealed, is what I’ve been suspecting. The unannounced visits and so on. I get a very strong sensation that it is my sister-in-law you are referring to when you mentioned some telling us what to do with the house and yard. How big of a role will she play in all this, will it further hurt our already…how should I put this, unstable/delicate relationship? The last thing I want is hurt feelings or problems because of this. We had a big hurtful mess with my husband’s family (mom, dad and sister) after we got married almost six years ago and I want to do all that I can to avoid any situation like that.

My father and mother-in-law just yesterday asked us to move in with them…to be perfectly honest with you, neither of us wants to do that. I told them that I would be happy to visit more often and help them out, but we really don’t want to live with them. I can only see problems if we live with them.

You also mentioned that my father-in-law would be moving in with us in the future out of necessity (do you mean if we get the house, or in general-regardless of where we live?)…I’m having trouble understanding that because we are not as close to him as my sister-in-law and her family is. I don’t know what to make of it. I love him (and my mother-in-law), I just dont’ want any problems or hurt feelings when all is said and done.

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