HIs actions reveal himself more than anything else. Self-realization is looking within and working on becomming aware of his own baggage he, too, drags around. To use your baggage as an excuse, is hurtful and simply means he is not willing to see his own. This type of situation usually brings a lot of blame, criticism, and can be disappointing when one-sided. Relationship is the arena where we can guage our own growth through another person’s eyes. Meaning we cannot possibly see our self fully, and also learn about ourself when others share their experience of us both positive and negative. Without relationship, it would take so so long to grow. Relationship is a gift, because we are challenged , like pushing buttons, for example, which we may react to. It is this reaction that is a clue. A clue as to where to begin self-awareness and unpeel the layers that hide our real self.