[Bandit]

Hi Meagan,

Wow… what a dilemma!

Maybe the most important question is: Why did you break up in the first place… and Why are you back together?

Unless your boyfriend is the most gentle and loving person on this planet he will probably be very angry if you tell him you may be pregnant to some other guy. It doesn’t matter whether his anger is justified or not. He may still be angry.

If you tell him and he decides to leave you… can you cope with that? If you don’t tell him and the baby has brown eyes instead of blue, etc… that won’t be great either?

I hope you can find someone older and wiser in whom to confide as this is a very big burden for one person to bear. If you don’t have family or friends you can trust at least speak to a counsellor or find a mothers’ group so that you can look at all the options if you are left all alone literally holding the baby.

Mothers and babies need all the help they can get. Love is not quite enough when it comes to little ones as they need money… supplies… nurturing. They are demanding and trying. Please get help before you make your decision. Being honest is usually the best way but I urge you to seek help first.

[Bandit]

Hi Mom4x,

This is so sad for you. I don’t know if you will get your children back from the system, however, children do get older and sometimes they will seek out their parents. As they get older, in time, you can also seek them out. Your children will make up their own minds about you and life.

For you it is so important that you nurture yourself. Find hobbies and fulfilling pastimes that bring you satisfaction and enjoyment. Anything that absorbs your attention.

Living without our children is one of the hardest things we have to do as parents. They’ve simply left home a little earlier than we might have otherwise planned. Truly loving someone is learning to accept that they might be happy in their lives without you… and that is ok. It’s not what we want and it is excruciatingly painful and I have personally experienced this myself.

Having more children to fill the void may not be the answer. Finding ways to help other people is one way of getting outside of our pain and emptiness. Accepting our life as it is and finding ways to be productive and happy each day will help. Happiness won’t come knocking on your door. You often have to go out and find it!

Take time each day to send your children loving thoughts and at a very deep level they will feel your love. They may not connect it with you but they will feel the love. Ask your angels for help.

Whatever the case with your children you still have your life to live. Children grow up, get married, move overseas… all kinds of things happen in life. Find your joy and passion. Something you truly enjoy as you grow older, with or without your children.

[Bandit]

I feel so sad for you just now. How awful to be abandoned like this. In his cowardly way he’s showing you he doesn’t care for you now as he once did.

Sadly we’re not always suited with the people we love. You should know that you attracted him into your life and you will attract someone new when you are over your pain and loss. Do something nice for yourself each day. Find your passion in life and pursue that when you can. Get out into nature. Your heart will eventually heal and life will be good for you.

[Bandit]

Probably not… can you live with that? It’s hard to live with the answers to our questions. When trust is gone it’s often gone for good. Doesn’t mean you won’t always be connected at some level. We’re here to learn and what you’re feeling now is not punishment, it’s just you learning the best way you can in this lifetime. It doesn’t matter what “terrible things” you did. They are done and in the past. What matters now is how this experience helps you as you go forward through life. You may or may not be “truly happy” with your husband in the future but you cannot ask of him more than he may be able to give.

In my own experience living with ourselves is the hardest thing to do. Find ways to forgive yourself for being imperfect. For being human with all your failings. We all have them. We all have different challenges. The things you are learning now will set you up for the rest of your life. It’s perfectly ok. Some of us are learning the hardest lessons this lifetime. When it’s appropriate, drop the guilt and shame. Your life isn’t over and this may be the hardest lesson of all but there are other challenges and you will get through them.

I don’t always quote the Bible but it does say: “He who is forgiven much, loveth much.” You might be learning about love. Take the pressure off yourself and your husband. Do the best you can but drop your expectations. Life is not the fairy tale we were led to believe. Find fulfilling ways to spend your time and start to enjoy life again. 🙂

[Bandit]

No wonder you’re tired! Phew!

Maybe there are some solutions right in front of you? Would moving near your kids truly make you happy? Is there anything you love to do that you’re not doing right now? An old hobby you enjoyed? Where is this deep dissatisfaction coming from?

Often our kids have busy lives of their own and they’re not so worried about how we’re doing. There are some really great inspirational teachers and healers on YouTube and other places. You surely need a miracle just now… something to kick start you again.

Is it the money or is it something deep inside… that feeling of: “Is this all there is?” That’s a call from your soul to dig deep and find your passion. Check our your physical health also. Sometimes we’re lacking in Magnesium and other things that can help us relax and get adequate rest.

Life is challenging and if you’re not sure it’s sometimes best to ride things out until you are. All the very best making your decision… even if that means ‘not’ deciding at all! 🙂

[Bandit]

Hi Just Tyrell,

All growth happens ‘outside’ our comfort zone.

Some of the greatest men and women have failed many, many times in life. They’ve gone on to become successful. Real failure is when you stop trying. When you give up. Someone once told me that you have to “cross the silly bridge” to achieve what you want. This means we have to be ok with looking foolish and be ok with failing sometimes if we want to make progress. Keep your mind focused on your goal. Break your plan for success into small, bite-size chunks so it’s more manageable. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. No one is ever a failure for trying. Best of luck.

[Bandit]

Looking at your beautiful face I can tell you have the gift of love in abundance and warmth to share with others. Your love and compassion would give others the gift of healing. You don’t have to wonder about your gifts. Just being yourself if the special gift you have.

[Author]

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