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Hi. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months. We have acknowledged our love for each other and have met each others’ parents. On our first date, I had expressed I had told a psychic that who ever were to love me would have to live in my house as this is where my daughter and self wish to stay. He has made random statements over the past few months like asking what I think of a family member’s marriage and them being soulmates, stating twice that he felt different from his brothers because they were both married but now he found the right one (me). Most recently we have talked about getting a hotel room for New Years. I asked what kind of room was he looking for so I can look at different places. He had said something romantic, with a jacuzzi, and balcony. He has in the past two weeks, made two different toasts to us. The first was to our future and the second was to us, no other statements included, just those words. In July, I had found out by accident he was in no hurry to get married (never married) when my daughter sent me a ring that she had liked with her favorite character on it, but it looked like a diamond ring until I explained the character on it to him. A week after, my brother was in a really bad accident (thankfully okay) and he would make random statements about if it was me, he would visit me in the hospital every day and most recently, what would I do if it was him in the hospital. Sometimes it feels like he has started to shift thinking toward more marriage minded. Other times, I don’t know. I won’t ask because I don’t know if I am ready to hear a negative response. The closest I came to asking about the topic was to state that while I was working on my dissertation (on marital satisfaction), and we married, would he have completed the study with me if someone else scored the information and I didn’t get to see any of the responses, and the information would not be given to me. He had said, if we were married, he would. I had then tried a second question that if we were married, would he continue to kiss me like he kisses me now when he sees me. He said yes. I had then said that if we were married, I would like that very much. I can never seem to figure out what he is thinking and it can be frustrating but at the same time, I am not completely ready to ask more details because I am afraid of how he might answer and I don’t want it to ruin anything in our relationship if I don’t take it well (me not being as lovey because I feel hurt type thing). I am usually clueless about things that happen to me, like relationships stuff and never seem to be able to pick up on those type of clues for myself. I was just wondering if anyone had any insight into where his mind might possibly be leading. Thank you.
I was actually looking for video to see how this part of the website works but i started reading your post for some reason and i suddenly became emotionally involved. (This might sound weird to you but is pretty normal for me, i become empathically involved in almost everything that has my attention.) I am only lesson 9 currently in Life Mastery, so forgive me if I am not accurate. Also, it is my understanding that the purpose of this area is for students to practice using the skills we are developing, so if I am misunderstanding this in any way, please forgive me.
As I was reading your post, I definitely started picking up on something. I was sensing, feeling and even seeing visuals.
I was picturing your boyfriend as a young or young-looking guy and kind of reserved. but i also seen him appear as a darker skinned older man, which leads me to believe that he is either young at heart if he is older, or if he is younger, then he is mature, has an old soul or is old fashioned in some way. I see the relationship between the two of you as being incredibly romantic. Not like a luxurious type of romance, but like romance is the two of you as a couple no matter what kind of situation you are in as long as the vibe is right. Even kind of fairy tale like….
I see him having Piscean or Aquarian character traits. Whether this is his sun sign or not, i sense him having those qualities. I think possibly more of Pisces than Aquarius. Possibly he is born on the cusp between the two signs being more like Pisces.
If you were to do his astrology chart, maybe the following is also significant for some reason: Gemini, Libra, Cancer and or Capricorn.
The main thing i picked up on was that there is no question about whether he loves you or not. He is 100% sure that he loves you and that might be the only thing he is 100% sure of. This could be partly why you are a bit confused about whether he wants to marry or not. If so, you are sensing the confusion that he feels about himself or some insecurity he has inside which is not directly related to you, and you could be sensing his insecurity because of the connection you have with him which could trigger your own insecurity and thus causing u to mistake his insecurity possibly creating insecurity for you due to misunderstanding. Maybe even he could misinterpret you misinterpreting him and could turn the situation into a challenging quiet type of awkward moment. or silent ride home or temporary emotional distance that seems to resolve on its own over a short period of time all because of some minor misunderstanding. I sense he may be a little troubled in his mind over some issue work related. I wasn’t really seeing him working so I dont know if it is because he is unemployed or because the information about his employment is not important for me to know, but i feel something regarding the job/work/career area of his life could be a major factor holding him back from taking those next steps to marriage. Maybe he needs to save money to get the rings or maybe his current job doesn’t provide something that he feels he needs in order to provide for you and the household efficiently. Whether it is money or the fulfillment he needs from his employment to feel confident that he can take care of you as your husband. I sense that he is somewhat intimidated by your family or he has a strong desire to be accepted and liked by your family, and i sense some fears based on his insecurity about being judged by your family, maybe if something happens because his work is unstable and he is suddenly unable to provide for you or something of that nature… I think the only doubt he has for marrying you is his lack of confidence in himself possibly because he doesn’t feel that he has reached the point in his own life where he is stable and fulfilled or aligned with his own true purpose in the way he perceives he is supposed to be, as he just wants to be the most ideal husband to you and doesn’t think he has reached that ideal yet. or maybe he wants to get a better education and is torn because he doesn’t want to leave and go to school or work somewhere better if it compromises his time to be with you. Maybe a co-dependency of some sort?..
i also sense all kinds of thoughts and confusion in his mind…. eg: {What if this? What if that?}
If any of that is accurate i think it would be good to reassure him that this ideal which he has in his head of who he is supposed to be is different from yours because the most ideal husband for you only needs to truly love you. It might help if you could get him to open up about all of the little thoughts and concerns and worries he has if you ever notice him to appear deep in thought. i think it might be hard for him to do this. But if/when he does, you’d likely be surprised. Last thing i picked up on was a misunderstanding or misinterpretation of actions could lead to something where you might believe the opposite of his intentions. So don’t be quick to react until you have calmly observed the situation from every angle.
I appreciate you for sharing this and being open about something so personal and also for giving me as well as all the students here this opportunity to practice the skills we are learning. Please reply, if possible, to let me know how i could improve. Thank you again.Namaste.
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