Stay separated or get back together?

[lainie]

Hi everyone I have found myself at a stage in my relationship after 10years of being together for the past 3 years we have had so many break ups and getting back together that it is exhausting. The thing is we have a 3 year old son together which is making me indecisive about what to do. My partner is very controlling and after many many times telling me things will change. When we get back together they never do, he’s full of good intentions and false promises but he hasn’t changed in the 3 years we have been going through our emotional rollercoaster relationship. Does anyone have any guidance for me in making a decision once and for all xxx

[FionaM]

I keep seeing this manager, business owner thing around him. Anyway, I get a sense you have a good chance at making it work, but you will have to do things differently. First, it might help to drop the victim thing. I keep seeing you throwing some punches in that relationship. As we all do, you have some serious patterns that are showing up in the relationship roller coaster. As you make changes within yourself, who you are in the relationship will change, and is this changes, the relationship itself will change. Maybe hold off on making any decisions right away and do some good-old work on yourself from the inside out. If you don’t know how to accomplish this on your own, there are some great tools right here on this site. So I’m getting the relationship is salvageable, but it will only work if major changes occur, and those changes will likely have to start with you

[rose123]

Hi ianie,
The reason he is controlling is because he wants things way back to where it was before with you,would you understand this??he is trying to bring back past he thought that was safer,happier for him ,for you.you might think opposite.
There is new coming to your relationship,something new which will chance of the course of relationship,at least the direction of it.it could be a new baby ,something new..his controlling behaviour may stop.

[lainie]

I totally understand the manager thing, and the working on my inner self. This is what I’m in the process of. Both replies I totally get both of u got it spot on but to be honest I don’t think it’s salvageable. I feels over to me purely because the way he is with me will never change. Thank you very much for ur replies xxxx

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