All I get when I focus in on you is something artistic. I don’t know if it’s performing or visual arts but I think that what you want to do be involved in the arts but you don’t want to share that with someone close to you for fear someone may say it’s not practical and you won’t make any money.
There is no real hurry. I dont know who or what has placed that sense of urgency on you but it’s false. If you have to sign up for classes or “declare a major” forget it. Don’t declare it. Or if you pick something, you’re not locked in to that career path for the rest or your life.
Stick to the artistic side of life. Whether you are currently involved in arts or not, You need to focus on performing AND visual arts, I keep getting the message to throw yourself into visual and performing arts and that this sense of urgency is utter nonsense.
If someone is pressuring you because they are paying for your education or career expenses, tell them they will have to relax or you will have to slow down and not take their financial assistance.
All of us know deep down inside what we would like to do but society and influential people close to us help stuff that so far into the subconscious that we get confused
You may try buying a book called “the artists way” The information and exercises they give you, if you follow them, will help you get paste all this and bring the mental healing and clarity you need to happiness and success in your career which leads to success in the areas of your life.