Self Awareness

[Cactusmoon]

Anxiety, depression, abusive relationship, opressive relationship. The list goes on and on.
Often times we perpetuate our own demise.
We have come from abusive homes, or had toxic parents, absent parents, or any number of less than healthy environments. We then enter into the independant world of adulthood as anything but an adult.
We carry with us a myriad of perceptions, knee jerk responses, defense mechanisms, coping mechanisms,
We give messages in how we carry ourselves, how we dress, our habits, our responses, just to name a few.
We attract others with how we advertise, and we are drawn to others in the same manner.
Quite often we find ourselves in relationships with unhealthy characteristics. We get out of one bad relationship only to find ourselves in yet another, possibly worse, relationship. Never stopping to ask what it is about ourself that attracts these partners or why we are drawn to them.
I was a perpetual victim for a long time…
I began seeking to know myself and improve myself. Look patterns and figure them out. When did I first begin a certain mindset, or emotional response, or behavior.
For instance why did I feel the need to go to bars and flirt with every man there, and make sexually provocative comments and gestures.
There was a time I hated me. Flat couldn’t tolerate being in my own company. As I began to see and understand myself. Myself began a transformation. I started drawing attention from a different type of people. Who I choose to be around is very different.
It is no easy task to take a look and see that we really do invite our own misery, most of the time.
But, I tell you this, once I started acknowledging the part I play and accepting the accountability for my actions ir inactions. I became more and more empowered.
Realize in our vehicle for lifes journey, it is each individuals responsibility to take the wheel. When we permit others to steer, we are willingly taking the backseat in our own vehicle.
Be open.
Be alert
Be blessed

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