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Wayne (18/02/60) and I (23/09/65) have had an on/off relationship for a few months now … he has issues with his ex and some commitment issues as well. We recently had a falling out but I feel there is still some hope for a relationship with him – I feel a really strong connection. Is there any chance that we can sort out things and make a lasting relationship?
You mention that this is an on/off relationship. The chances are that you will hear from him again. However, you certainly don’t want it to continue to be on/off. It is important to discuss the issues that are driving a wedge into the relationship. It is important not to force him into a commintment right now.
Best wishes,
🙂Thanks Kathy. No, I don’t want it to be an on/off relationship. I think his major issue is commitment … when I told him how I felt he backed off big time 🙁 But it was always him that was the one to re-establish contact with me. This time I’m not so sure – I have heard nothing from him. Does he just need some space and time??
You are exactly right about the major commitment issue. He cares for you and he is frightened by what he feels. His fear of commitment is stronger than his desire to be with you. Then when he sees you or thinks about you he wants to take that chance. Then he gets scared and backs off. This is very unfair to you!
So again you are right about feeling that he needs space and time. There is an exercise that you could try. Focus on him in a quiet place while you are relaxed. When you are thinking of him it could cause him to think of you. This could prompt him to get in touch with you. This exercise has been known to work if it is what both of you want.
Best wishes,
🙂
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