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Lydia,
welcome to the forums! We would really like to help you, but in order to do so we need a bit more information. It seems as if you are having doubts about your current relationship. In order to keep a relationship alive it takes work from both partners. It is about give and take and wanting to work things out. You must both really want to remain together.Best wishes,
Hi thanks for your reply i was at a bit of a loss yesterday… I have been in this relationship for around a year and a half my dob is 25/06/82 his is 04/03/84 we are engaged, he has a tendancy to be extremely critical of me even to the point of being nasty for seemingly no reason i have been in a cycle of abusuve relationships since i was 15 and i dont know why i keep ending up in this position my x has also arrived on the scene he cheated on me less than 3 months after he proposed and i have never really gotten over it i just dont know how to deal with it anymore… Your insight would be very much apreciated
You do not deserve to be treated this way! Loving someone means totally accepting that person for who they are. He should not try to take away from your individuality. It is important to focus on what you truly want in life. You need to feel good about yourself. In order for you to be happy, you need total acceptance. So if you can tell him how you honestly feel, this could be a start toward resolution. I do sense that he cares for you but at the same time he is attempting to control you. You don’t need to have your ex around right now either. Just because your fiance might not totally agree with everything you do it does not give him the right to criticize. You are your own person and you need to stand up for your rights!
Best wishes,
Thankyou for taking the time to reply i have taken your advice and spoken to him about how i feel (although i must say i have tried this before) and things are ok for now i was just wondering do you see a future for us and also do you think he is trustworthy? He is quite a jealous character but seem to spend alot of time chatting to other women i must say i dont feel i can trust him…
You might want to trust your instincts in this case — he seems to think it is all right to talk to other women while you are present. Yet he is jealous of the people you have contact with. He isn’t considering your feelings, only what he wants to do and what he wants you to do. You are your own person — you are not a puppet on a string! So you might really want to consider all aspects of this relationship before you commit to marriage.
Best wishes,
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