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I’ve been seeing a guy named Austen on and off casually for a while now. We were also seeing each other earlier in the year for some time too. I’m wondering what I need to do to take the relationship in a more serious direction?
My initial intuitive instinct is “Ask him” My second “are you giving him reason to take you seriously?” No insult intended here. When I focus on you, I feel you may be too accomodating and letting him be ambiguous. That is the wrong approach. Because when I focus on him, I see a person who is being ambiguous by choice and will continue to do so as long as you allow it. He knows what he is doing and is being a little selfish. I also sense the presence of another relationship. My advice: Ask him. Be direct and mindful of YOUR needs at all times. Direct communication is needed or you will achieve nothing with this person. You will remain in half-assed relationship limbo. Once you ask him, I feel there is a 50/50 chance you will get an indirect, non-committal, overall unsatisfactory answer. There is also a chance you will get an answer that will only work temporarily then things will go back to limbo. You need to be direct. Not desperate or pushy but direct. Remember, if he really cares about you, there is nothing you can say to make him turn against you. As a matter of fact, If he cares about you he should be very happy you care enough to be a strong intelligent person and want to take things to the next level. Do not settle for any less.
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