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will my recent ex and i rekindle even though there seems to be major oppositon and no more contact between us? what can u tell me abt us getting back together? and what abt my financial and career and moving siuation? thank u! i appreciate it. pls b specific abt details incl timeline. if not him when will i find true love everlasting?
Actually, the future is not set in stone. A lot depends on the road you choose. If you were to get back together with your ex, the problems that you experienced in the past could resurface. What type of career have you chosen? You should do well in a field that you truly enjoy. Making sure that you have secure employment should be your next step. Then planning for your financial future and moving could come into focus. It is impossible to provide accurate details and a timeline because the future is not set in stone.
Best wishes,
🙂hi kathy,
thank u so much for ur response. i appreciate it. 🙂 ur r correct kathy the problems could resurface. but ive learned how to counteract them and while we have been apart i have had a lot of time to contemplate how good we both had it. sad how hinds sinte is 20/20. we really had it made and took eachother for granted. just wks after we we split apart we were back together. he always warned me that if he ever lost me hed become v dark n something bad he wld become for a long time. he did just that. we were back for a cpl wks but he refused to let love happen. he sais it w his actions he wanted me back. but he is full of darkness n heavy regret n secrets. all from his past. he cannot truly accept responsibility or ask forgiveness so it eats away at his life. his heart grew two sizes during our relationship. we never loved so freely or effortlessly or unconditionally or vulnerably. he has commitment issues in addition to his demons from his past he cant let go of. blocked us at every turning point. said he had to forget me and cant be arnd me bc all the emotions come rushing backban he didnt want to fall in love w me again. feels he was not good enuf for me no matter how much i tell him i accept him all of him. he was the man of my dreams. he said i broke his heart. we r both sad without the other. so he left a second time. he said its not a matter of do we want to its can we will we… now he doesnt speak to me. everyone else gave up on him incl himself. i was his dream woman. now we both feel incomplete without eachother. not sure if hes going back to his ex bc its cheaper to keep her and at least he didnt have to feel in that loveless roommate relationship. i feel its not over betwn us but that he is so dark n makes more regrets to the point he thinks hea really not good enuf for me. i wish i cld show him how much he means to me even w a blemished past. i love him and he loves me.
as far as career im not sure what field i shld enter. left publishing and police work. thinkn of returning to school for paralegal. also v interested in humanitaria work. disability has been denied recently yet i have not yet secured work. we will appeal n sue them bc its an unjust judgement. im involved in community service as well.
i understand its not written in stone but im looking for insight to possible options and outcomes. if this then… etc.
This guy is playing mind games– he is fearful of a long-term commitment. You deserve to feel good about yourself. You have some good work skills. Keep applying for what would be a good paying job. Do you really want to waste the negative energy that would be involved in a law suit? It could take years to even come to court.
Once you rebuild your confidence and self esteem you stand a very good chance of meeting someone new who will treat you with the respect that you deserve.
Best wishes,
🙂kathy thank u again sweet for answering and im not sure if thats really u in ur profile pic but i love it! 🙂 reminds me of an aunt of mine named kathy as well just a more glam version of her.
thank u dear for the inspiring and encouraging words. all i can say abt my ex is yes maam i agree w ur assessment. i used to b just like him. sabotaging and untrusting noncommital and all. when the going got ruff i got going and all that jazz. so its hard to walk away knowing im part of his self fulfilling prophecy. we have unfinished heart business. its like a sick n deeply cruel inhumane experiment he plays on himself and women and children in his life if he lets u in at all. c how close u can get and then punishes u for making him feel trusting enuf and he runs bc hes afraid uve seen too much real n raw n u wont like it… he cant forgive himself so he cant imagine how i can… then he cuts off contact… self deprivation and causes undue pain to loved ones. our marriage counselo rsaid he has attachment disorder n narcissism and big time passive agression. i c a little bipolar and obsessive controlling behaviors in there. but i know a person can grow. i personally have. but i also believhi kathy,
thank u so much for ur response. i appreciate it. 🙂 ur r correct kathy the problems could resurface. but ive learned how to counteract them and while we have been apart i have had a lot of time to contemplate how good we both had it. sad how hinds sinte is 20/20. we really had it made and took eachother for granted. just wks after we we split apart we were back together. he always warned me that if he ever lost me hed become v dark n something bad he wld become for a long time. he did just that. we were back for a cpl wks but he refused to let love happen. he sais it w his actions he wanted me back. but he is full of darkness n heavy regret n secrets. all from his past. he cannot truly accept responsibility or ask forgiveness so it eats away at his life. his heart grew two sizes during our relationship. we never loved so freely or effortlessly or unconditionally or vulnerably. he has commitment issues in addition to his demons from his past he cant let go of. blocked us at every turning point. said he had to forget me and cant be arnd me bc all the emotions come rushing backban he didnt want to fall in love w me again. feels he was not good enuf for me no matter how much i tell him i accept him all of him. he was the man of my dreams. he said i broke his heart. we r both sad without the other. so he left a second time. he said its not a matter of do we want to its can we will we… now he doesnt speak to me. everyone else gave up on him incl himself. i was his dream woman. now we both feel incomplete without eachother. not sure if hes going back to his ex bc its cheaper to keep her and at least he didnt have to feel in that loveless roommate relationship. i feel its not over betwn us but that he is so dark n makes more regrets to the point he thinks hea really not good enuf for me. i wish i cld show him how much he means to me even w a blemished past. i love him and he loves me.
as far as career im not sure what field i shld enter. left publishing and police work. thinkn of returning to school for paralegal. also v interested in humanitaria work. disability has been denied recently yet i have not yet secured work. we will appeal n sue them bc its an unjust judgement. im involved in community service as well.
i understand its not written in stone but im looking for insight to possible options and outcomes. if this then… etc. ed in myself.
as for career options do u have an inkling to guide me? i have money saved but need a secured decent paying job soon even if just temp to tide us over… i have a real and chronic uncureable disease. working pt will b ruff. working ft will b unhealthy. i need to go back to school n secure a paralegal cert or something. ideally i wld have a career working from home though making a great living. evn w my skillset its hard to find such a position.
do u suggest i give up hope w this man? accept that he is just too broken or make one last attempt to open communication in hopes of at least a healthy friendship?
thank u dear kathy. xxxx
lets try this version instead! lol
kathy thank u again sweet for answering and im not sure if thats really u in ur profile pic but i love it! reminds me of an aunt of mine named kathy as well just a more glam version of her.
thank u dear for the inspiring and encouraging words. all i can say abt my ex is yes maam i agree w ur assessment. i used to b just like him. sabotaging and untrusting noncommital and all. when the going got ruff i got going and all that jazz. so its hard to walk away knowing im part of his self fulfilling prophecy. we have unfinished heart business. its like a sick n deeply cruel inhumane experiment he plays on himself and women and children in his life if he lets u in at all. c how close u can get and then punishes u for making him feel trusting enuf and he runs bc hes afraid uve seen too much real n raw n u wont like it… he cant forgive himself so he cant imagine how i can… then he cuts off contact… self deprivation and causes undue pain to loved ones. our marriage counselo rsaid he has attachment disorder n narcissism and big time passive agression. i c a little bipolar and obsessive controlling behaviors in there. but i know a person can grow. i personally have. but i also believed in myself.
as for career options do u have an inkling to guide me? i have money saved but need a secured decent paying job soon even if just temp to tide us over… i have a real and chronic uncureable disease. working pt will b ruff. working ft will b unhealthy. i need to go back to school n secure a paralegal cert or something. ideally i wld have a career working from home though making a great living. evn w my skillset its hard to find such a position.
do u suggest i give up hope w this man? accept that he is just too broken or make one last attempt to open communication in hopes of at least a healthy friendship? if i knew really y he has recently cut contact w me i wld kiow what to do.
thank u dear kathy. xxxx
He is dragging you down– even while he is absent from your life. The best thing you can do for yourself is to move on with your life. If you can secure some kind of part time work to get you ahead financially, and then also take the courses that you need, this will get you going in the right direction.
Trying to contact him now would only lead to more heartache. He doesn’t deserve your attention. The best thing for you would be to show him you can make it without him and be successful in the direction you choose to take career wise.
Yes, the picture is really me–
Take care!
🙂thank u kathy. ur response is extremely helpful. i appreciate u taking the time. 🙂 god bless u. wld it b ok if i kept u posted or even asked further questions later that either u or another group member wld answer? grateful. thank u. xxxx
Please keep in touch to let us know how you are doing. We are here to help–
Best wishes,
🙂
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