Personal Best?

[MarkK]

Hi all:

Procrastinated a while before writing this… Hard to put my feelings into words (even the word “feelings” sometimes sends an awkward chill down my spine)

A couple months ago, I became interested in competitive running. I contacted a marathon runner (Kevin) over e-mail, asking him if he was looking for a training partner. I knew that he was much more far advanced than I, being that he’s competed in a lot of international events etc., but I was excited to meet him knowing that he was gay, single (I had seen his profile on plentyoffish) and that it would be exciting to train with a top athlete.

He mentioned that he trained with a track club in town and that I should check it out. I researched the club online, and it definitely seemed what I was looking for. I dropped in for a couple runs, and eventually joined.

Now I run there 3x a week, and it’s hard as you can imagine, but probably the most fun I’ve ever had. I’ve even tapped Kevin for some running advice, and he’s coached me and some of the other novice runners a couple times.

I definitely have feelings for him, but I’ve backed off approaching him for anything besides running advice because I fear that:
a) it would ruin my fun/progress at the club
and more importantly
b) make him feel uncomfortable too (It’s been his turf much longer than it’s been mine)

I don’t consider myself needy or desperate in any way, so I’m very embarrassed that I’m interested in him. Added to that he seems almost too good for me because he’s.. so much faster (granted he’s been training competively for more than 10 years, as opposed to a few weeks in my case). Although he acts very friendly and never comes across as patronizing, I can’t help but feel way out of shape chasing after him during our group runs 😉

On the other hand, I worry that I may have gone so far as to seem distant and standoffish around him (People notice I often come across this way when shy). In terms of who I imagine as a possible mate, I definitely envisioned myself being with someone who possesses his traits (competitive, positive, athletic), interests (running, cycling) and appearance (skinny, light blonde) etc. long before I even heard of him.

Am I wasting a good opportunity here in getting to know him better?

Mark

[Author]

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