Needing hope and guidance.

[Stephrose]

I dont think I will get much if any replies but here it goes. I am desperate.

I am just out of a long term relationship by 2 months. My relationship with this man has been volitile and at times violent.
He has promise to make changes, he has promised to start councelling.
I have slept with other people and I really am beginning to like someone else, his face makes me happy but it seem like I have ruined even that.
I dont know what to do. I dont know if I should let the new guy come to me, ease off or keep trying or if theres someone else out there or if I should give the ex another chance.

I am so afraid of being alone but Im also afraid of the possibility of violence.

Please someone help me.

[FionaM]

No one can tell you what to do, but I get a psychic sense it might be good to take a break from relationships and work on strengthening yourself for a while. Having to choose between an abuser or a rebound is not a good place to be. Both of them feel destructive at this point. Might help to get your own independence. Ever thought about the medical field for a career? When you are balanced and healthy from the inside out, you will tend to attract people who are on the same wavelength.

[Stephrose]

Hi Fiona,
Thank you so much for replying. Its funny you should say that I should focus on strengthening myself as thats exactly what one of my friends has urged me to do as I haven’t had the chance in over 12 years to be me (jumped from bf to bf).
I was really hoping though tha the new guy woukd have been a good fit, he seemed genuine. I guess though with how needy and fragile I am there is that probability of it bejng more harm than good. I am really just so afraid of never finding anyone who loves me and respects me and that I’ll be alone forever..
On the note of a medical career. I am currently studying Nursing but wasnt sure if I should swap into proper medicine or not.
Thank you again for your response. Youre right that in that last part you said as well, I suppose I really should focus on bettering me.

[Alfienoah0915]

I’m not by any means psychic but I just wanted to share my experience of getting back with a violent ex. 10 years ago my ex was violent towards me and ended up going to prison. fast forward 6 years he begged me to give him another chance telling me he had changed and I thought I would give him the benefit of the doubt. Things were ok for the first year and I fell pregnant. At 20 weeks pregnant he assaulted me again this time he tried to throw boiling water over me, strangled me and threw me on the floor. After that I left for good but now I am a single mum and my ex has not even bothered with my son in 2 years. If he was violent to you once there is always that possibility it will happen again. Taking my ex back was a massive mistake and I wish I had somebody to warn me against it at the time just think hard before you ever take back someone who was violent towards you because you deserve better than that.

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