Me and my ex the love of my life

[TS2013]

I need an answer concerning the love of my life who is currently my ex so we ended on a bad note and i called monday after it happened and he said he will talk when he is ready i really want to be with this man we been through alot together so is there anyway our relationship with get reconciled? How long should i wait till he feels ready to talk? As well as will we ever be together again or completely move on?

[Joanna79g]

I’m going through the same thing and it’s highly recommended that you give him 30 days of zero contact, none at all. He needs time to calm down and not associate you with everything bad that happened. After 30 days, reach out via text and day something positive. You could use something like “remember when….” anything that he would smile or laugh about. You want him to see you in a positive light. Let go of the negative now so when you do reach out you are in a positive frame of mind. People can sense negativity and positivity. In the meantime, work on you and be strong!! I wish you the best like I said, I’m going through the exact same thing but you can do this!

[klabshire]

I am going through the same thing as well, however it’s hard for me to do zero contact as we have children together. We were together for 18 years off/on when he left.

[FionaM]

Your ex feels victimized and, whether this is true or not, he feels like you focus too much on yourself, on what you want and not enough on his needs and his feelings. You probably will never be able to completely move on without this “thing” haunting him, (forgiving and forgetting isn’t his strong suit) however, he cares deeply for you. You have a better chance of moving on more harmoniously if you make clear noticeable efforts, even by doing the little things – day by day – to show you care about him and his goals and feelings as much if not more than you do yours. More importantly, there is someone in the background, a female, who is acting like she means well. She is waiting for the relationship to fail so she can move in and replace you. He does not care for her as much as he does you but his hurt and vulnerability could allow for him to fall for her dishonesty for awhile. As a result, things will become even more chaotic and possible damaged. Do not discuss this with any seemingly well meaning people. You may be trusting the wrong person and giving them too much information – information they can use to screw things up for you.

[FionaM]

One more thing. I think your love interest is a very ambitious person who has some goals to do something big and successful. He is sensitive about these goals but quite serious. He MUST know the person he chooses to be with him will be 100% supportive and not hurt him and distract him from achieving these goals. His probable success will also appeal to others. The dishonest person on the background sees his potential.

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