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Hello,
This is my first time posting to this forum, and I’m hoping for some insights into a complicated situation that I’m having trouble navigating.
I have been married for four years, and I am finally admitting to myself that I made a mistake and married for the wrong reasons and I am not in love. I am not even sure my husband is capable of basic human love. I think he may be asexual. But for financial reasons, I can’t leave and I know it would hurt him, because I know he loves me on some level, in his way. However, I met someone else last year that I have developed a good friendship/working relationship with. He is single and I believe we could be a great couple. I have developed strong feelings for him and we have a great chemistry. But I’m not sure if he feels the same way, or if he simply believes since I’m married there is no use in pursuing anything further (which I respect), etc. I guess what I really want to know is, does this other person care about me in the same way, or is there potential. Just to know. I know no one can tell me what to do, but some insights would be nice. Thank you in advance 🙂
Welcome to the forums!
Have you and your husband considered counseling? There is a chance that the quality of your marriage could be improved. As for your co-worker, are you certain that he isn’t otherwise involved? Sometimes people don’t want to share certain aspects of their personal life in the workplace. You wouldn’t want to jeopardize your working relationship if things didn’t work out as you had hoped. I do sense that he likes you personally as well as professionally. So for now you might just want to continue your friendly professional relationship until you find out more about him.
Best wishes,
🙂Thank you for getting back with me!
First, we work together on a freelance basis and we’re more friends than co-workers, so yes, I know for sure he is single. His bad luck with finding love is a running joke with him and his other friends.
Second, no, I have done counseling on my own and he doesn’t want to admit there are issues and I no longer believe this is fixable. I can’t make myself feel something I don’t. Besides financial security, this relationship is not good for me. But at this time, until I become financially secure myself, leaving isn’t really an option.
You might feel better about this situation if you don’t try to combine the two issues. If you feel that you can no longer stay with your husband and decide to move on, your friend will be aware of this. Then if he is interested he will let you know.
Best wishes,
🙂
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