Is a relationship necessary?

[MarkK]

Hi, I know that relationships can be special, but what about those people who prefer to be alone? I enjoy my solitude, as long as I keep busy. I live very independently and take my own goals and aspirations very seriously.

Is it necessary for someone to be in a relationship to feel complete?

I get up at 4:30 AM every day to go jogging 7 miles at the gym before work. At work, I’m in line for a promotion in a few months, that will give me some financial security as well as luxury. In the evenings, I plan to practice the guitar and write comedy before bedtime. I also write articles for an arts magazine and won an award last year for my writing.

I’m a member of a writer’s group that I met in comedy class. We practice our stand-up material together and perform together at amateur nights.

A script I wrote is being produced as a short film in a new year. I’ve also met a director who plans on producing at least another of my short comedy scripts.

I plan to go on some weekend bicycle excursions this summer on my own (100 miles a day).

With all this, do I really need someone else in my life?

[FionaM]

I think this has to be a personal choice. You have to make up your mind yourself. But I do question these things. Many great teachers throughout time have said that if you are not in a relationship, you are not growing. Relationships give us the lows, but they also give us the highs. In my experience, I would say that relationships also provide the most intense mirror which reveal things about ourselves that we would otherwise never know. They bring up all of our stuff, stuff that we need to acknowledge and heal. And maybe even more importantly, relationships allow us an outlet to give and show compassion, maybe in a more important way that anything else in life can provide. I think many people avoid relationships out of pure selfishness. Relationships take work, they are inconvenient sometimes, and they aren’t always easy. In my opinion, when people are avoiding relationships, it’s usually because they are avoiding a part of themselves out of fear, anger, or depression. By not being in this experience where we can share, grow together, receive, and give, we are missing out on a large part of life. Especially when it comes down to giving in a relationship, this is a powerful experience that can’t be replaced by volunteering at the local soup kitchen, church, etc. In my experience of working with people over the years, whenever someone isn’t in a relationship, there always seems to be something missing. It’s a type of dried up feeling. This is a psychic feeling I always encounter when I encounter someone who is making this choice. When the yin and yang are combined, there seems to be a power created that has more wholeness. No relationship usually feels imbalanced to me, like something big is missing. In fact, working with people in these situations over the years, it seems when there is no relationship, especially for many years, this imbalance will start to infect other parts of one’s life – creativity, health, self-esteem, and attitude. Just my two cents.

[FionaM]

On a lighter note, here is a clip of a move that kind of relates to what I was discussing. The “stuffed up” couple seem to have this type of attitude, which I think is a growing trend. And it’s not not just a about having babies, but about relationships in general. I think you can see it by clicking this link. I hope the link works: blog/Fiona/idiocracy_trailer_b-16.html

[Author]

Posts