Been in your shoes and was blessed with 2 kids but through adoption, not birth. Send out the love of your baby and try not to be afraid or negative and I think a baby will come into your life. My kids came in a different way than I planned but they are totally mine!
You will conceive. It will be. It will come as a surprise because when you get to prioritizing your life, you will have a balanced joy distributed in your life so you can conceive with happiness along with lots of happiness to offer your newborn.