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Hello,
Many thanks in advance for your help.
I have been in love with a man for 2 years. We connect on every level and spend a lot of time together, but for some reason, he’s never actually seen me. A few months ago, I discovered this is because he’s hung up on his college girlfriend. She’s the one that got away. Despite, after the breakup, his asking her to never contact him again, she randomly pops in and out of his life at her convenience, which has hurt him a lot. This last time, however, after they spent a week together, he followed her to Paris, where she was working, and stayed there for a week.
I was deeply upset because I thought this man and I were making progress, so to help myself get my mind off the situation, I also came to Europe, not to meet him but meet a friend. I’m still here but he’s back in the states.
This is where the massive error on my part happens. I text him a generic message saying hello and how are you. Even though I didn’t ask anything about his ex, he responds that she’s coming to stay with him for a month. This again seemed to me like one of his ex’s manipulation/using tactics, but I probably wouldn’t have expressed that. Except I was with my friend and her husband who encouraged me to respond, “You said she pops in and out of your life. What do you hope to get out of her staying with you for a month?” They thought this message would plant a seed of doubt about his ex while at the same time, let him know I’m jealous in case he didn’t already know I like him. He didn’t respond, which seems about right because he has a hard time reading between the lines and took offense.
Nervous, I sent an email with an apology for butting in his business. But I also said I didn’t plan on seeing him for a while. I didn’t write why though, so it just seems passive aggressive. He doesn’t know it’s because it would hurt too much to see him with his ex.
He didn’t respond to this email either. I’d like to know what he’s thinking about me and if there is any way back into his life. Also, what is he thinking about his ex and will it work out between them?
I’d greatly appreciate help on what I should do next, if anything at all. Thank you again.
I would stop trying to send hidden messages and insinuations. Does he have any idea how you feel about him? It seems to me you’re sending a completely icky vibe to him, why don’t you just tell him you have feelings for him and let the chips fall where they may. Two years is a long time to not tell someone you love them
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