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I am recently divorced but it wasn’t by choice. My kids are now in shared custody. I want to be back with my husband but it seems like he is moving on. I am having a difficult time eating, sleeping, working, and just overall functioning. Anyone have any ideas on what I can do? Please help!
Sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. First, I would suggest to start my making a conscious effort to control where you put your focus. Throughout the day, try to avoid focusing on how bad things have been, how bad things are, and how bad things will be. Instead, start focusing on what you have to be appreciative for, what important things you can do with your life from this point forward, and what steps you need to take to get your life going in a better direction. Even if it feels fake at first, do it anyway. It’s not a miracle pill that will make everything perfect, but with persistence, I believe it will help you.
I would also suggest lots of heavy exercise. Start off slow if you have to, even a brisk walk at a mall for 30 minutes a few times a week. This will help burn off the heavier emotions that are getting stored up in your body.
You may need to get some help with this. Our Life Mastery Program is full of tested and proven tools to help you get control of your focus, emotions, and thinking so you aren’t reacting so much to what you are facing: Life Mastery Program
No matter how bad things are, you can get control over how you are experiencing it – Although most people don’t seem to be able to do this very well without some type of training. I would take a look at the program or find something similar that you are comfortable with. Whatever you do, don’t just settle for the suffering – what you are going through does not have to be something that drags on for month after month, year after year. Keep looking for solutions. Let me know your thoughts on what I have suggested.
BTW, here is an article I wrote on the very exact thing: Relationship Suffering
- Dale Sellers
The power of appreciation, it’s also good if you have some time to yourself along with if you take the Life Mastery Program is educating yourself on the phenomena of appreciation, there are a lot of good books with great information that can make it even a little bit easier and uplifting
There is no easy way out of that at all. I went through it myself. To a degree, I think it is always kind of there because it is a situation that just isn’t “right” therefore (at least for me) I can never feel 100%. Does that make sense? It is now several yrs later and it never fully goes away but it does get better. I tell myself when the kids are grown I will finally be able to breathe and have somewhat of a normal life, not because of them of course, but because of the ex. That is not advice at all! But for me, it is the only way I can see to survive.
How are you doing Andrea Loves? It’s been about a year since your post.
@sg01001 wrote:
There is no easy way out of that at all. I went through it myself. To a degree, I think it is always kind of there because it is a situation that just isn’t “right” therefore (at least for me) I can never feel 100%. Does that make sense? It is now several yrs later and it never fully goes away but it does get better. I tell myself when the kids are grown I will finally be able to breathe and have somewhat of a normal life, not because of them of course, but because of the ex. That is not advice at all! But for me, it is the only way I can see to survive.
Hi Andrea-love,
Nice to meet you.
I’ve been reading, I like Dale’s insight, don’t just accept things as they are; make a conscious effort to change.
Also get some sun if possible.
Blessings,
Veronica_hGet a trusted friend or family member on board and make yourself accountable to them. Write down exactly what you are doing throughout the day. A sense of achievement great to lift the mood. Fresh, eating well and a variety of exercises all essential. Write down your issues and state how you will deal with them. Example, i have a problem over thinking or ruminating so if i have a problem i am only allowed to think of it while im walking. Also i tend to isolate myself when depressed which makes it worse. Make a conscience effort to meet someone you can have a laugh with everyday. Laughter really is a great healer.
Exercise is the only answer for curing depresion. But one is rarely having exercise as a daily routine and starting a daily routine of exercise into one’s life is difficult. Why not just take a walk around your home for about 30 min a day?. Walking is most easy and effective exercise and you are free from depresive conditions of being locked up in four walls and ceiling of your home or your office. Walking outside make you carefree and small breeze of wind gives you a fresh luxury. Gradually you will love this freedom, carefree- ness and gentle easy exercise to your life and your conditions will improve.
With your depression, going to fitness center and have to meet people trying their best to acheieving some form of preformance will make you more isolated from the pack. You need more freedom and less competition when you are depress. Walking alone allows you to have some gentle dreams and those dreams will come true one day.
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