Ex Love

[sarefin88]

Hi there

thank you firstly for reading this. I was wondering if there is a chance that my ex boyfriend and i will reconnect? I always felt he was the one but he broke up with me 4 weeks ago telling me he does not see a future with me and has no feelings for me. This feels very wrong and came out of the blue…
Please could someone tell me what they see….

[FionaM]

I don’t get a sense of complete finality with this relationship. Although, if you push now, i do get a sense he’s going to run further away. That’s not always the case, but i do sense that with him. I would consider giving him some space but reaching out on a light level. Maybe regain the control back over the rest of your life. If he does decide to come back, i do question if he has the emotional maturity to really be in a relationship with you. You may want to ask yourself this question.

[sarefin88]

Hi there,
it seems whatever i do (which isn’t even much as all) it pushes him further way.
Could you be more specific about the fact you don’t sense finality? In what terms? In the romantic relationship way or friendship nature?

[Dale]

I got a sense that in a couple months from now, once he realizes what he lost, and once he starts feeling lonely, he may try to be back with you again. But my sense is that it may be the same old story, just a different time period. This isn’t personally about you. He’s got romance issues that existed before you came into the picture: selfish, arrogant, lazy, self absorbed, etc. That’s what i get when i focus on him. He’ll be good in management.

I’m not saying he’s a bad person, i just don’t get a sense he’s grown up yet and really sees what it takes to have true romance in his life. I could be wrong, but the sense i have is pretty strong. You can try to change him, but good luck with that.

Work on your own life, and if he comes back, and you still want to be with him, then you won’t be so desperate about the situation. When i say your own ow life, i’m talking about other fiends, your career, exercising, having fun, learn to mediate, get outside in the fresh air, learn to enjoy life more, etc.

- Dale Sellers

[FionaM]

I got a sense that in a couple months from now, once he realizes what he lost, and once he starts feeling lonely, he may try to be back with you again. But my sense is that it may be the same old story, just a different time period. This isn’t personally about you. He’s got romance issues that existed before you came into the picture: selfish, arrogant, lazy, self absorbed, etc. That’s what i get when i focus on him. He’ll be good in management.

I’m not saying he’s a bad person, i just don’t get a sense he’s grown up yet and really sees what it takes to have true romance in his life. I could be wrong, but the sense i have is pretty strong. You can try to change him, but good luck with that.

Work on your own life, and if he comes back, and you still want to be with him, then you won’t be so desperate about the situation. When i say your own ow life, i’m talking about other fiends, your career, exercising, having fun, learn to mediate, get outside in the fresh air, learn to enjoy life more, etc.

[sarefin88]

Thank you for that. You seem spot on about his personality. He is still quite immature but i do love him deeply.

My issue however is one of time. You see he is german and i am from australia. My german visa finishes in about 6 weeks time and i then have to leave germany and go to uk or australia. Unless i can get an extension on my visa. Do you see anything in my future in regards to this?

I feel if i leave germany it will automatically eliminate all
chances for him to come back to me.

At the moment he has cut me from his life and wants nothing to do with me….

[sarefin88]

I am leaving germany in 1 week and the situation still isn’t any better with my ex boyfriend. Can you see us reconnecting again?

I love him so much but he really wants nothing to do with me. He has gone to efforts to change his phone number and block me from every part of his life. Do you still see him coming back to me?

I feel i am making a mistake by leaving germany but at the same time i don’t.. Please help

[FionaM]

It seems as if you asking the same question, over and over, hoping for a different answer. Maybe the issue is not so much if he’s coming back, but rather why you are so fixated on someone who is not meeting your halfway in life. I would consider doing something to fix that immediately.

[sujirath]

I think you get scared and get desperate because you have to depart from a person and depart from a place at the same time. But this desperate -ness is the one which is driving him away too. Try to move away from germany for some time and when you re-visit there in future again, give him a call or try to contact him. At that time in future you will not be desperate like now and he will not avoid you either. Sometime, distance made the hearts to be softer.

[maureen]

You are telling yourself that you cant live without this person. You can. You cant make choices for other people and you cant make someone come back to you. You need to emotionally release this situation. It is like going through withdrawal from cigarette smoking. You know intellectually what is going on but your emotions aren’t allowing you to move on with your life. If you have no idea what happened it means that this person has a lot of hidden issues which are not the basis for a good relationship.you need to release him for your highest good . I feel like there would be a new relationship in your future if you can do this.

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