Hi there Joy,
Although I am not one of the lucky and gifted I just wanted to say to you how very strong and brave a person that I believe you are. It takes real guts to walk away from a situation as severe as this (sad to say but many are not so lucky), but you managed to find your way out and that is to be commended. Right now just be patient with the whole relationship thing because it will come to you in due time, but now is a time for you to heal, recover, and learn. It is a time to reflect so that your future has a far better resolution than your past. Please let go of the guilt and stop blaming yourself because you are human no one is perfect. So where do you go from here? well my answer is simple up:) It’s going to take baby steps to get back to who you are, but you can do it you’ll see. The key is to learn to love yourself and believe me it is one of lifes hardest lessons to learn ( he he I’m still learning actually), but with time and hard work it can be done. Once you have it all sorted out always remember to give back (if that means sharing your story or even your experiences in order to help others out of similar circumstances). You have one big advantage that most take for granted and that is that you are a survivor. Remember to take things slow your emotions are going to take some time in order to readjust (mental scars take longer to heal), and whenever you feel that walls closing in feeling find a positive outlet to channel that stress into ( like exercising, going for a walk outside, writing, reading etc the list is endless (something that brings you joy no pun intended). All the best to you and your very bright future.
Quoting the little engine that could “I think I can, I think I can”, and he did, the power of positive thinking is astounding isn’t it.
Best wishes and Good luck to you
Lisa (aka kitana57)