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I’m married to an alcoholic -it’s been 10 years now. We’ve been in good and bad situations- he’s abusive and sometimes violent.
Last fall i met someone younger than me and fall in love with him. We began to “date” since the first of march, we don’t meet often because he travels a lot. The thing is that i don’t know if he really loves me or cares about me, i don’t even know if he will call me or if he wants to see me. I really want him back for good, i think he’s the one. It never happen to me to fall in love this way. I want to know if this relationship will grow into something serious or not.
Can you answer me this? Please…What i sense is that this younger man has something to hide. You don’t meet often because he says he travels. How much do you really know about him? Do you really want to be with someone who fades in and out of a relationship? Even though your marriage has given you some hard times it is important not to confuse the two separate issues. Can this marriage be repaired? If not, it is best not to count on anything from the other guy.
Best wishes,
I don’t think he lies to me. I know he’s gone now with business.
I’m pretty sure i don’t feel love for my husband anymore. Last saturday i had to walk around my block for 6 hours, in the night, just to prevent another fight. My husband was drunk and wanted to fight so i just left the house. My child was sleeping, was cold outside and luckily i spend my night talking with a friend, i went home, he started to fight again, i left again, that was pretty much the night. 2 weeks ago was the same thing, he started to fight. He woke our child and my boy was crying: stop fighting!! Stop fighting!! This time i left the house just to prevent this.
I don’t know what to do anymore…
My lover was like a balm to me. Brought me hope. We rarely meet. I will care for him anyway. The thing is that i don’t know what (/that) he really cares for me. He’s an important person, has business to do. He’s on another continent right now. He does not lie to me about that. Was a strong connection with him from the beginning. I want to find if he love me. I’m writing to you because i seek here advices, insight views, intuitive, psychic, common sense. Please help me. I don’t know what to do.If you feel that you can no longer stay in an abusive marrige, there should be local support groups within your area where you could receive help. This decision should be made regardless of what you are hoping for from the other guy.
As for the other guy, if you rarely meet and he is away on business a good deal of the time and makes no attempt to contact you — this does not seem to be a positive sign. You may have chemistry but there are many more important factors to consider. You might do well to find out more about his family background. There could be things that he has not told you.
So if you can just take one step at a time, stay strong and think about what is best for you and your son, things should become more clear as to what you need to do.
Best wishes,
Very sorry to hear things have been tough for you and your son. Living with an alcoholic enables them to drink. Tough love required for alcoholic to give up. They need to hit rock bottom before they will give up the drink. This requires asking them to leave house and changing the locks and ordering them to get treatment if they want to be a part of your sons or your life. Your boy will be traumatised if he continues to see an abusive father figure in his home. You need to be strong and take action with your husband first and foremost so he may have the chance to get treatment and be a good father figure.
As for the other guy, protect your heart and yourself first. You have been through a tough time. Get to know this guy very well before you become emotionally invested in a future with him.
Best wishes.
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