Hi Mom4x,
This is so sad for you. I don’t know if you will get your children back from the system, however, children do get older and sometimes they will seek out their parents. As they get older, in time, you can also seek them out. Your children will make up their own minds about you and life.
For you it is so important that you nurture yourself. Find hobbies and fulfilling pastimes that bring you satisfaction and enjoyment. Anything that absorbs your attention.
Living without our children is one of the hardest things we have to do as parents. They’ve simply left home a little earlier than we might have otherwise planned. Truly loving someone is learning to accept that they might be happy in their lives without you… and that is ok. It’s not what we want and it is excruciatingly painful and I have personally experienced this myself.
Having more children to fill the void may not be the answer. Finding ways to help other people is one way of getting outside of our pain and emptiness. Accepting our life as it is and finding ways to be productive and happy each day will help. Happiness won’t come knocking on your door. You often have to go out and find it!
Take time each day to send your children loving thoughts and at a very deep level they will feel your love. They may not connect it with you but they will feel the love. Ask your angels for help.
Whatever the case with your children you still have your life to live. Children grow up, get married, move overseas… all kinds of things happen in life. Find your joy and passion. Something you truly enjoy as you grow older, with or without your children.