Am I out of luck?

[jwalk415]

Last month, I asked here if I can win over the heart of a female colleague for whom I have deep romantic feelings. Unfortunately, she revealed to me last week that she doesn’t have romantic feelings for me and is dating another colleague, who was also a friend of mine, and who knows how strongly I feel about her. As a result, I’m devastated by it and not only am I no longer friends with that man over her, this news has hurt my friendship with her. What does the future hold for me with her now? I kept hoping that she’d give me a chance but it appears I’m completely out of luck. I still can’t get over her and I tried to follow the advice that was given to me before here…please help me anyone with some guidance. Thank you.

[FionaM]

There is a chance something will happen in the future, but you will need to make some serious changes in how you are approaching this. Psychically, I’m getting a very fixated, desperate, obsessed sense from you about this person, almost creepy. This will not work. She will never be attracted to this. She sees it as too heavy, too much work, too high-maintenance. Take you energy and put it into other areas of your life. Get out and have fun with other beautiful women. Start working out more, with weights, martial arts, or something else highly exhausting. Burn off that heavy energy. Next, learn how to better control your thoughts and emotions. These are your own worst enemy and have become self destructive. Right now you are projecting weakness and desperation. If you can’t figure out how to get better control on your own, see the Life Mastery Program on this site. You’ve got to get yourself where you don’t feel like you “need” her, in order for you to be happy. Once you do this, you will have a better chance of her coming around. Or, you might find someone else who is ever better. I’m getting a predator sense about her anyway, so be careful. She has a tendency to be very self absorbed and cold in relationships, like they are some type of business transaction. I’m not saying she’s all bad, but watch out.

[FionaM]

Thank for the like! What do you think about what I’ve shared?

[jwalk415]

Thank you for your help. I think you are right that I’ve become obsessed with Vanessa. The thing is, I think she is the woman of my dreams and might have fallen in love with her so that’s what makes the current situation even more devastating for me. It hurts me that she’s dating a guy who used to be my friend and he knows how I feel about her too. We all work together too…to make matters worse. But I will follow your advice and have to deal with this better. I still remain hopeful she gives me a chance even though the odds seem against me. But I have to be strong and stand on my own. Thank you again.

[FionaM]

We all our reasons of why we behave the way we do, but be careful about justifying your suffering. Is the situation painful, or is the way you are perceiving it making it painful for you? Are you a victim or are you doing this to yourself? If you aren’t just a victim, you can do something about it. Also, be careful about thinking she’s the only one you could ever be happy with. That’s a dangerous and limiting mindset. There are so many other people on the planet you could be happy with, and it’s empowering to realize this. In fact, grasping this will increase the chances of her coming your way, as you won’t be as threatening. Pay close attention to the action suggestions I mentioned in the first post. These are what I’ve psychically seen will specifically help you in your unique situation. You’ve got to make changes quick if you want a chance, because what you are doing is not going to work. I’d highly suggest getting some personal growth training, whether it’s here or somewhere else. This will change everything. Of course, most people say they want something, but when it comes down to it, they want really do what it takes to get what they way. Maybe this is you or maybe it’s not. Take care of yourself and remember, suffering is optional, not matter what.

[jwalk415]

Hi, Fiona. I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to answer my question here. It was so very kind of you. While I’m still struggling to deal with this situation, I am trying and have been following your advice, along with meditation and reaching out to my family and friends for moral support. I still hope to win her over but I realize I need to make changes first. I hope it works out because I’m impatient. We’ll see….I’m a work in progress but I want to get out of my personal rut. Think I can pull it off?

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