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Hi there,
Thanks in advance for the help I may receive!My boyfriend had to leave town this Thursday for a new exciting job in the political world. He may return for four months starting in the fall. We never once discussed what would happen to the relationship, though we both know we will break up at least for the time being. A friend told me I had to confront him and ask to talk about it, since it *is* important to discuss.
When I called him, he had very little to say– a few sentences. I was very hurt by how little he offered when I put myself out there to start the conversation. We technically wrapped up the issue, but I don’t feel satisfied. I want to know the truth about our situation. Will we get together later in life? Or will we just be friends from now on? Something tells me this isn’t the end. But he’s quiet on the issue for reasons I currently don’t know.
I’m just looking for enlightenment on any aspect of the issue. Should I bring it up again, or will it pressure him? Should I take this as a sign that he doesn’t really care about me, and move on? While I would like to know what’s in his heart, I also would like to know what I can do better when communicating in hard conversations. I’m not confident in that area.
Any help will be so appreciated. Many thanks!
C.A.
You say you don’t want to pressure him? Aren’t your feelings and your future important? Why should you take a back seat to his being wishy-washy? I focused on him a few times before answering this. I was hoping to finds a good reason for this selfish behavior. He knows what he wants and how he feels. I am seeing he doesn’t want a commitment right now but wants to keep you as an option for when he does decide to settle down. If you are okay with this, you better hope he doesn’t find somebody else because he is looking. If you were to be married (which right now I only see about a 50% chance) he would still have a roving eye.BUT take out the psychic insight for a moment. You have every right to ask him directly. Any man anywhere who cares for a woman, or who respects her at all as a person, is not pressured by questioning. a man worth anything is not afraid to man-up and be respectful to the feelings of ANYONE especially the time an commitment of a lover. You don’t just go off and be cold and evasive. That’s breaking the rules. He seriously needs to man-up! Asking questions to prepare for your future is what you are supposed to do. This is no time to be submissive. When I focus on you, I see you have been through this before and this will keep happening until you realize your sense of self worth and build-up your self esteem. And I will say it again. He he needs to man-up.
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