A Cry For Help

[arialle1992]

Hello Guys! My name is Arialle Tate 5-7-1992 and my kids father name is Joshua Gore 4-9-1995 we have been together on and off since December 2012 lots of breaking up, getting back together, heartbreak, kids and infidelity in between, we have 6 children all together ..we just had a baby January 5th of this year and I went through labor and everything alone I felt so abandoned and alone….he came back in February saying he want his family back and he will do better and like a fool I believed him…We broke up in February because I felt he was cheating on me and to find out he was….but he found a way to flip it and made it seem like I was the crazy one and it was all my fault like how? and I feel so dumb waiting for him to come back each time and I’ve found out he cheated with a girl that I found out he’s been seeing since last summer which has been extremely hurtful because I was pregnant and was even more hurt that while missing the birth and first weeks of our recent child’s life he was with the girl instead of being there for his family I don’t understand how a female is more important than our little blessings everythinggg I found out he was doing behind my back hurt me to the core, because I did sooo much for him and been Soo loyal and I admit after finding this stuff out I been acting out in anger demanding answers but I know he isn’t sorry and doesn’t care…. I’ve also been keeping the kids away because I need a break from it all before I go crazy and I feel like he doesn’t do enough for them anyway….I don’t know how to handle this nd I can’t fathom him being with someone else I feel stupid because why do I still love him? Why do I still care? I don’t understand what’s wrong with me….and why do I deserve this? Im not perfect but I tried so hard to be a good mother and girlfriend how does he get to be happy and I get left sad and depressed? I feel myself slipping into postpartum depression I cry everyday and hate my kids seeing me like this…how can he leave his family and not care? How can he leave me to raise six kids alone? Me and my kids will never get the chance to have a real family, I feel like I wasted my time and years I feel lost, hopeless and worthless, my soul is crying and hurting and I have to get better for my children. I gave up my life and dreams for this and I’m left with nothing, I’m still tryna motivate my self to finish school and try to find something I wanna do in life but this just all too hard and too much on one person and I’m only 26.

[FionaM]

That’s a lot of questions. If you had maybe one question for starters, what would it be?

[Author]

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